Tired

Tired. Spent. Lost. Nowhere to go. Sleeping with nothing to wake up to. Pessimistic, angry, scared to death. No human being should retire to bed in this state of mind. We all have our specific evils, or fears that we eventually bow down to. Without even thinking for a second what it is that we are giving our freedom to. I feel scared of some non-existent  thing today, only to end up being more scared eventually. I start doubting myself today and after a couple of years nobody would look twice upon my work. Why is there now doubt where there was an infinite hope? Why the sadness, the pessimism, the confusion and the anger? And fear. Fear of myself maybe. And everything I am. Or want to be.