I had a very long, very lovely discussion with a friend yesterday. She’s just finished the first draft of her book and we were talking about how maintaining a daily writing schedule and then sticking to it can help discipline an aspiring writer to actually get some work done. But this was about writing specifically, a topic that can be left for another post, another day. The dilemma that yours truly is facing right now is much more daunting than anything else. And the need to discipline myself is perhaps greater than ever before. You see, I have an exam to take in another three weeks or so…. an unfinished accountancy degree that needs to get done with; if for nothing else but the sake of personal satisfaction. Sigh.
So I have not left anything to chance this time around. Preparatory classes have been taken, (useless) books have been bought, study desk has been arranged/rearranged a million times or so, (useless fancy) stationary has been bought; have even managed to get myself a set of highlighters that i am especially proud of (an old fetish). Some very useless activities have been indulged in, but but there is one thing that’s unfortunately lacking… the will to actually get down to studying. The fact is that when you start going down that road again after a lapse of about seven years or so, you do feel a little overwhelmed if not much. Petrified, even. I literally dragged myself to my study table yesterday but except for some inexplicably sudden palpitations and extreme anxiety nothing else was achieved. The fear of studying is too great to handle, too real, too retarded. And to top it off, I start feeling sleepy the moment I so much as manage to open my books. They are like these natural sleeping pills that always seem to work on me.
Starting from today however, I do intend to keep a regular record of what I have or have not studied (go on, laugh all you want..hrmph). Better still, I may try and write about my (non) progress over here as well!! That might keep me motivated.
Damn. The only thing I want to do right now is curl up in my bed, with a steaming cup of coffee and a good book. And all I am stuck with is group cashflows and accounting for financial instruments. Yuck.