One reason of my eternal unhappiness is the existence of a parallel world inside of me, a world that has a life of its own. It contradicts, confuses and attacks the ideologies that i have to confront in the real world. It’s like a constant battle that’s going on deep inside of me.
My difficulty is my own. Created by my very being. And it has been a part of me ever since i’ve become aware of myself. I need to look around me to see (im)perfect examples of people who are now well-adjusted to someone else’s idea of their lives. Why can’t i be one of those? Why can’t i just compromise, close chapters neatly, move on and never look back? I have been living this imaginary life of yesterday for too long now. Nostalgia, regret, could-have-beens… What is my life but a sum of all three of these?
Questions i ask are numerous and often inane.