The internet has not been working that well of late; which at last has provided me with a few precious moments to inscribe some of the thoughts that have been dwelling in my ever perplexed mind these days. I must confess that writing has been a custom with me ever since I was a young girl, and I speak of an era well before the advent of social networking websites; therefore writing was pretty much the only leisure activity that we could indulge in on those dreaded school nights. I was infatuated with my diaries; infact I owned a dozen of them. I do not really know what eventually became of them though, barring one or two which I have in my possession to this day. What did I write in them? Well, a lot, stuff that made sense only to me at that crucial time of my life.
From bantering mindlessly about the various boy bands that I was severely infatuated with to those other, more momentous things; my diaries were a safe haven for me. But then as life moved forward, those naive dreams were regrettably left at the rear; swept away by the countless responsibilities that nature bestowed upon me. Real life slowly but steadily took the place of dreams and thus my little writing escapade came to sad end.
Now if I even consider it, my very thought process seems jaded to me, alienated even. I get panicky, clueless about where to begin. But write I want to, yes, more than anything else in the world. If there were any two things in my life that I was ever good at, it was expressing myself through the written word and perhaps laughing hysterically at even the slightest of things that life offers. The latter I very pompously do to this day even to the point of being perceived as an impossible retard. But I do not mind, for I have something that many people are not blessed with, the rare ability to ridicule myself and the situations that I have ended up in, no matter how grave they may seem.
I hope it changes soon. I hope I start writing again. For if I have ever yearned for anything, I have yearned for my mind to be free again; emancipated enough to write whatever I want to without thinking twice about it.