My phone rang this afternoon and it was Masooma on the line. She wanted me to bring a cake for Abbu so that we could celebrate father’s day together. It just dawned upon me right there, how dear our father is to us and how much we love him regardless of the fact that we don’t show it a lot to him!! I wanted to write something for him today. I wanted to share with the whole world what a great father he has been to us, for giving us that rare kind of self-confidence that I don’t come across quite a lot these days, for teaching us to be comfortable in our own skin, for having inculcated the deepest principles in us without being a totalitarian. Gosh! I want to write so much about him if only i knew where to start.
Well I would say that he has always been a very unusual parent. He would never stop us from doing anything but we always had this inherent idea of what our limits were. Perhaps that is why we knew our limits. Our morality standards were not set up through force but through love; exactly the way I would like to bring my daughters up someday. All of us made our choices, some good, some bad and some mighty disastrous. But the fact is that even though he didn’t approve of some, he let us make our mistakes and learn our lessons, ourselves. It is a difficult thing to do; being a parent I can understand that. It is so natural for a parent to try and stop a child from a mistake that could possibly ruin his life forever; except not to. We all are secure women, doing what we think is best; in my case even sitting at home, bringing up children! All just because of the tremendous self-assurance that our father has instilled in us. Damn the world, if you think you’re right and if it fulfills you, by all means go ahead, do it. Not that he never scolded us, I am particularly not very fond of parents who turn their children into extremely irritating, spoiled brats by taking their mindless crap all the time. Yes, he scolded us, at times, but the fact that he was always open to an argument and to listen to what we had to say about a matter is what made him superior to all the other people that I knew of at that time. He had the tendency to say, ‘what I’m saying is right”, but we all knew that he just said it without meaning even a word. Freedom of speech and opinion is what we had in our home. A heated discussion on almost anything was always welcome; it was never a one man show in our house. A thing that I’ve not seen in many a household in my life; and I have spent quite sometime on this planet.
I often say that I don’t derive my confidence from the people around me. I can’t care less of what people think about me. My world does not revolve around them. It revolves around what I think of myself and how it will affect me and my family. That is the sort of belief that Abbu has given to me and one of my greatest desires is to be able to bring up my daughters in the way that my parents, especially our father has brought us up.
I aspire to see my daughters grow up as dignified, powerful women, having complete faith in themselves. I want them to have the courage to stand up for what they believe in and never let anyone or anything, take charge of their life but themselves. Nothing will help me more in this regard, than the guidance that I myself have had all my life. Thank you Abbu, for being the extraordinary father and a friend that you have always been! And although we don’t say it a lot to you but you know, we love you!